How does our memory work actually? I think, human memory is one of the greatest mystery of the world. When I try reminisce my childhood time, I am always awed by how little I remember about it! I spent 9 years in kindegarden and elementary school, but why only glimpse of that memory remains?
When I think about what happen 10 years ago, it feels just like yesterday. The time when I fought with my sister and our maid had to use electric racket to separate us. The time when I stubbornly didn't want to talk to my mom for days and it ended up badly (for my part). The time when I first met my kindergarden friends, with whom I still make contact until now. The time when I first listen with horror the story of Jesus' crucifixation. The time when it was so damn hard to memorize the spelling of 'UNCLE' and 'DUCK'. It happened a long time ago, what remains of that is only memory, a faint one, fading away years after years.. But hey, the momory of two months ago feels really alike with the memory of, say, 8 years ago! The memories are stored not based on the order of when it occurred, but more on which leaves stronger impression.
Sometimes it scares me, what if somehow by memory was brainwashed, so the memories I thought I have are actually fake ones.. And how on Earth I can verify it?? Photos help, or other people who share the same moment, but what about those memory the went unrecorded by negative films of camera? And there are a lot of them. . From nine years of my life, maybe I can only remember hours from it, so did the rest of that really happen??
This weird thought arose in my mind, when I read a manga, titled 'Pluto'. It is the story of the future when the AI (Artificial Intelligent) of Robot have reached the level of human being. The mangaka or the creators of the series is Urasawa Naoki (Master Keaton, Monster, 20th Century Boy), and the elder of manga industri, Osamu Tezuka (Atom Boy). Right now I'm in the 2nd volume, but already the story amazed me! It talks about how a living being, so similar to human, yet so different with us. I still don’t get the clear picture of the story, but I'm sure it'll lead to very interesting one! But that's not what I want to talk about, it's the idea of memory within the robot sistem that draws my attention.
Robot cannot forget, unless the memory is deleted. Can you imagine living without being able to forget? One of the character from the story says this "Human memory is a handy thing. We have the function to forget. It's too hard to go on living with a mind full of painful memories.. That's why we forget". Yes, this is so true. People say 'time is the greatest healer', but actually it isn't the time itself that do the magic, it's our own memory that try to forget sad memores that we have. Of course there are memories, so deeply ecthed in our brain, that we can't easily let go.
That's why, I think the happiest people around are those people who are willing to forget bad memories. Be that memories concern with other people or themselves. These are people who are able to make peace with themselves and others, because 'make peace' is actually to forget all the misdeeds done by us or are inflicted upon ourselves.
The ability to forget is actually a blessing, so that we can make more room in our storage area for the happy ones. So it's not "don't worry, be happy", but rather it should be "forget the worry, be happy". ^^
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
Jalan-jalan di Monas
Hari ini gw baru aja ke monas. Setelah sekian lama, akhirnya gw kembali menaiki lift menuju puncak monas. Walaupun sering bgt melewati monas, gw ckup excited jga lokh. Gw teringat bgm dlu pas kecil seneng bgt pas uda sampai puncak. It was soooo high! The highest spot I'd ever been at that time! Trus anginnya itu lokh! Kenceeng bgt!
Setelah pagi2 gw sampe (jm 8.10), ternyata blum begitu ramai yang ngantri, padahal buka tiket pk 08.30. Jadi inget, pas waktu itu mo naik menara Petronas, gw ngantri jam 6.40, padahal buka tiket jam 8.30, en itu pun uda lumayan rame yang ngantri! Yah, mungkin perbedaan budaya dan perbedaan arsitektur.. (jleb!)
Karena uda lama gak ke sana, gw uda lupa liftnya segede apa.. Ternyata liftnya keciiil bgt!!!! Gile, masa hampir sama luasnya sama lift Fasilkom UI?? Di kampus aja ada dua lift, yang ini cman 1, sama jeleknya lagi!(ups!). Tapi gak apa lah, mungkin karena monas emank kurus, jadi seharusnya turis2 mancanegara pun bisa maklum..
Begitu sampai di atas.. ehm, ternyata kecil bgt space-nya! Trus angin2 yg kencang jga gak ada sama sekali, adanya angin sepoi2 doank.. It is so different! Harusnya sih gak ada yg berubah, mungking gwnya yg berubah.. Dulu, kayaknya apapun terlihat megah, terlihat hebat, terlihat indah! Kalau sekarang, boro2 deh, semuanya keliatan biasaaaa bgt! Ordinary, nothing special! Mungkin juga karena gw uda sering banget lewat daerah sekitar monas, udah biasa dengan gedung-gedung yang ada, jadinya yah itu tadi, biasa aja ngeliat Jakarta dari ketinggian..
Dengan agak kecewa, gw pun turun, sempet mampir ke cawan monas dlu, yang kosong banget, trus baru ke ruang proklamasi kemerdekaan. Di sono ada peraturan yg kurang lebih melarang untuk tidak berisik dan tidak berbuat hal yang tidak pantas karena itu ruangan 'sakral'. Ironically, that exactly what everybody was doing there! Anak2 pada berisik, lari sana-lari sini, maen prosotan lagi (bingung kok bisa maen prosotan? Yah dateng aja deh, susah ngejelasinnya!).. ada jg yang pacaran di sana.
Arrgh, dan tidak ada petugas sma sekali yg berjaga di sono! Parahnya lagi, spanduk (bukan spanduk sih, tpi gak tau namanya apa) peraturannya uda miring2, lepas2 pula! Untuk gw pergi bersama seorang penderita OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) bernama Ronny. Jadi langsung aja tuh spanduk dibenerin ama dia!hahaha, syang gw gak sempet rekam adegan itu^^ Btw, Ronny juga sempet memungut aqua gelas bekas yang tergeletak begitu aja di stairway Monas, bukan bwat disimpen lokh! Tapi buat dibuang ke tong sampah.. (Itu baru keren!^^)
Tapi beneran deh, apa jadinya bwat turis2 asing yang ngeliat itu?? Padahal ruangan itu disebutnya ruangan 'sakral'. Tapi sama sekali gak dijaga kesakralan itu.. Setelah dipikir2, mungkin itu sebabnya peraturannya cuman ada dalam bahasa Indonesia kali??
Begitu keluar, langsung disambut ama sampah2 bekas pop mie berserakan di lapangan sekitar monas.. Haduh2, why would people eat pop mie in Monas?? Don't they have their own damn places to eat pop mie??? Grr, kesel de jadinya. Padahal lapangan monas kan bagus, dimana lagi bisa ada landscape kayak gitu di Jakarta ini?
Kalau gw tulis lagi kejelekkan2 yang gw temui di Monas, pasti bakal jadi panjang bgt deh. I don't want to be someone who can only whine and complain, but I think as the symbol of Jakarta, the Capital City of Indonesia, Monas deserves better, so much better from the PemDa, and of course, for all of us. Paling tidak selama pembangunan menara jakarta masih gak jelas kondisinya^^
Monday, September 29, 2008
Bingung-bingung
Disclaimer: Tulisan ini dibuat ketika sedang agak bingung, dan di kamar lagi berisik oleh suara kakak2 perempuan (aka cici) gw yg setara ama satu kampung. So it's mixed up between Bahasa and English, not for the purpose of trying to be cool or mimicking infamous accent of some actress.
Gile yah, dalam waktu tiga hari saja (sabtu, minggu, senin), segala sesuatu berubah menjadi terombang-ambing dan gak jelas...
Saturday was the day that I should give the answer for WUDC. My mom agreed to support me in this, so there should not be any problem. well, yeah, there is chance that we may not be able to get any sponsorship, but we still have enough time to bail out until 1st December.
But then, I forgot about one crucial thing: my brother is getting married at 5th January, and WUDC is usually on the beginning of January!! And turned out WUDC will end at 3rd Jan (the closing ceremony, etc), so if I want to see it till the end, I will have to leave at 4th. The problem is, it takes around 20 hours to reach Jakarta!!!
Arggh, so my mom cancelled her support. She insists that I should not go at all.. Which, the way she said it.. it's really infuriating.. (duh, bgtulah org hokkien medan..)
Blum lagi bingung masalah ini, tau2nya ada lagi masalah di hari Minggu. This time it's about my church.. I'm reluctant to open up my church problem in public. So, here's the point: our whole family (except my brother who is a Buddhist) now face the choice to stay or leave our current church.. well, technically it may not be our church anymore anyway, just the same building with several familiar faces (not the friendliest of faces,ehm,you got the hint). I could say it's a crises for us, unfortunately I can't give the details.. Pokoknya mslh ini membuat bokap-nyokap ampe kesel en marah kepada orang-orang tertentu..
Plus I have my own personal problem. I thought this problem should be my primary problem, but it appeared that, now,it is the least of my problem. If everything has a bright side, then the bright side for this situation is this: it helps me to not indulge my self in vain sadness and folly thoughts. It reminds me of how fool I was to even think about it (my last problem)..
What I believe is, God works in everything for goodness (forgot the actual verse). So this not-so-routine kind of situation must have some meaning for all of us. At least it makes the holiday not so boring! dan biar gw tetep sate (saat teduh) juga slama liburan!^^
Gile yah, dalam waktu tiga hari saja (sabtu, minggu, senin), segala sesuatu berubah menjadi terombang-ambing dan gak jelas...
Saturday was the day that I should give the answer for WUDC. My mom agreed to support me in this, so there should not be any problem. well, yeah, there is chance that we may not be able to get any sponsorship, but we still have enough time to bail out until 1st December.
But then, I forgot about one crucial thing: my brother is getting married at 5th January, and WUDC is usually on the beginning of January!! And turned out WUDC will end at 3rd Jan (the closing ceremony, etc), so if I want to see it till the end, I will have to leave at 4th. The problem is, it takes around 20 hours to reach Jakarta!!!
Arggh, so my mom cancelled her support. She insists that I should not go at all.. Which, the way she said it.. it's really infuriating.. (duh, bgtulah org hokkien medan..)
Blum lagi bingung masalah ini, tau2nya ada lagi masalah di hari Minggu. This time it's about my church.. I'm reluctant to open up my church problem in public. So, here's the point: our whole family (except my brother who is a Buddhist) now face the choice to stay or leave our current church.. well, technically it may not be our church anymore anyway, just the same building with several familiar faces (not the friendliest of faces,ehm,you got the hint). I could say it's a crises for us, unfortunately I can't give the details.. Pokoknya mslh ini membuat bokap-nyokap ampe kesel en marah kepada orang-orang tertentu..
Plus I have my own personal problem. I thought this problem should be my primary problem, but it appeared that, now,it is the least of my problem. If everything has a bright side, then the bright side for this situation is this: it helps me to not indulge my self in vain sadness and folly thoughts. It reminds me of how fool I was to even think about it (my last problem)..
What I believe is, God works in everything for goodness (forgot the actual verse). So this not-so-routine kind of situation must have some meaning for all of us. At least it makes the holiday not so boring! dan biar gw tetep sate (saat teduh) juga slama liburan!^^
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Salvation and Destiny (part 2)
This is a very complex issue, and we will start with what the Bible does not teach. Fate is usually thought of as a predetermined course of events beyond human control. A typical response to a belief in fate is resignation—if we can’t change destiny, then why even try? Whatever happens, happens, and we can’t do anything about it. This is called “fatalism,” and it is not biblical.
Fatalism is a major premise of Islam, which demands total submission to the sovereignty of Allah. It is widely held in Hinduism, too; in fact, it is a fatalistic view of life that helps keep India’s caste system in place. Greek mythology told of the Moirai, or the Fates, three goddesses pictured as weavers of men’s lives. Their decisions could not be canceled or annulled, even by other gods. Again, fatalism is not a biblical concept.
Fate and Destiny - Our Free Will
The Bible teaches that Man was created with the ability to make moral choices and that he is responsible for those choices. The Fall of Man was not a predetermined event in which Adam and Eve were hapless victims of a Puppet-Master God. On the contrary, Adam and his wife had the ability to choose obedience (with its attendant blessing) or disobedience (with its consequent curse). They knew what the result of their decision would be, and they were held accountable (Genesis 3).
This theme of being held accountable for our choices continues throughout Scripture. “He who sows wickedness reaps trouble” (Proverbs 22:8a). “All hard work brings a profit, / but mere talk leads only to poverty” (Proverbs 14:23). “Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you” (Romans 13:3).
Often, when the Bible speaks of destiny, it’s in reference to a destiny people have brought upon themselves: “Many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction” (Philippians 3:18-19). “This is the fate of those who trust in themselves” (Psalm 49:13). “A man who commits adultery lacks judgment; / whoever does so destroys himself” (Proverbs 6:32). “Each person was judged according to what he had done” (Revelation 20:13).
We sin because we choose to. We can’t blame “Fate,” kismet, predestination, or God. James 1:13-14 says, “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.”
Interestingly, many people who choose to sin are annoyed by the negative consequences of their sin. “A man's own folly ruins his life, / yet his heart rages against the LORD” (Proverbs 19:3). This is a very insightful verse. When a man foolishly wrecks his life, he may yet insist on blaming God, or perhaps “Fate.” In this way, he persists in his folly.
Scripture also teaches that we choose to have faith. The oft-repeated command in Scripture to believe implies that we do have a choice in the matter. “Be not faithless, but believing” (John 20:27; see also Acts 16:31; 19:4).
Fate and Destiny - God’s Sovereignty
Lest we get the wrong idea, we are not the sovereign masters of our fate. Only God is sovereign. His sovereign control is called “providence.” He has chosen to give us a free will, and He has created a moral universe in which the law of cause-and-effect is a reality. But God is God alone, and there are no “accidents” in the universe.
An all-wise, all-powerful God must have a plan, so it should be no surprise that the Bible speaks of a divine plan. God’s plan, since it belongs to God, is holy, wise, and benevolent. The providence of God is working to bring about His original plan for creation.
God speaks in Isaiah 48:3, “I foretold the former things long ago, / my mouth announced them and I made them known; / then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass.” What God announces, He does (and He may announce it centuries ahead of time!).
Fighting against the plan of God is pointless. “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan / that can succeed against the LORD” (Proverbs 21:30). This is why the Tower of Babel was never completed (Genesis 11:1-9), why Daniel’s detractors were thrown to the lions (Daniel 6:24), why Jonah spent time inside a fish (Jonah 1:17), and why I get in trouble when I sin.
Even what we would normally call “chance” or “fate” is under God’s control. “The lot is cast into the lap, / but its every decision is from the LORD” (Proverbs 16:33). In other words, God does not take a “hands-off” approach to running the world.
Everything that happens in the world is made to work out according to God’s purpose. Evil exists, but it is not allowed to thwart God’s providence. God uses even sinful men for His purposes. “The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; / he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases” (Proverbs 21:1). God worked in the hearts of the Egyptians (Exodus 12:36) and King Artaxerxes (Ezra 7:27) to bring about His purpose. Even when Man’s intent is purely evil, God can still bring about His will, as in the case of those who crucified Jesus (Acts 2:23; 4:27-28).
God’s plan includes a reward for those who trust in Him, and He promises to glorify His children. “We speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. . . . As it is written: ‘No eye has seen, / no ear has heard, / no mind has conceived / what God has prepared for those who love him’” (1 Corinthians 2:7-9). Note the use of the word destined in this passage—and that it’s a destiny based on our love for the Lord.
Fate and Destiny - An Individual Plan
God’s sovereignty reaches even to a plan for our individual lives. This is illustrated in God’s calling of Jeremiah—before the prophet was even born. “The word of the LORD came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, / before you were born I set you apart; / I appointed you as a prophet to the nations’” (Jeremiah 1:4-5).
David also recognized that the Lord had a plan for him. “Your eyes saw my unformed body. / All the days ordained for me / were written in your book / before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). Because of this knowledge, David sought the Lord’s specific guidance in many situations, such as in 1 Samuel 23:9-12.
Fate and Destiny - Putting It All Together
In Acts 9, Jesus appears to Saul of Tarsus with an interesting statement: “It is hard for you to kick against the goads” (verse 5). Jesus obviously had a plan for Saul, and Saul had been (painfully) resisting it. Exercising our freedom against God’s plan can be painful.
Later, Jesus tells Saul that a man named Ananias would come to visit —and then Jesus tells Ananias (verses 11-12)! Obviously, Jesus had a pre-arranged plan for Ananias as well. Now, Ananias didn’t want to visit Saul (verse 13-14). He could have been like Jonah and run the other way. If that had been his choice, God would have had a “fish” prepared to bring him back. Fortunately, Ananias obeyed (verse 17). Exercising our freedom to follow God’s plan brings a blessing.
In summary, the Bible teaches that God is in charge. At the same time, He has given us the freedom to obey or disobey Him, and there are some things that God does only in answer to prayer (James 4:2).
God blesses the obedient, and He is patient with those who disobey, even to the point of seeming laxity. He has a plan for our lives, which includes our happiness and His glory both in this world and in the world to come. Those who accept Christ as Savior have accepted God’s plan (John 14:6). From then on, it’s a step-by-step following of God’s best for us, praying for His will to be done (Matthew 6:10), and avoiding the sidetrack of sin (Psalm 32:1-11; 119:59; Hebrews 12:1-2)
Fatalism is a major premise of Islam, which demands total submission to the sovereignty of Allah. It is widely held in Hinduism, too; in fact, it is a fatalistic view of life that helps keep India’s caste system in place. Greek mythology told of the Moirai, or the Fates, three goddesses pictured as weavers of men’s lives. Their decisions could not be canceled or annulled, even by other gods. Again, fatalism is not a biblical concept.
Fate and Destiny - Our Free Will
The Bible teaches that Man was created with the ability to make moral choices and that he is responsible for those choices. The Fall of Man was not a predetermined event in which Adam and Eve were hapless victims of a Puppet-Master God. On the contrary, Adam and his wife had the ability to choose obedience (with its attendant blessing) or disobedience (with its consequent curse). They knew what the result of their decision would be, and they were held accountable (Genesis 3).
This theme of being held accountable for our choices continues throughout Scripture. “He who sows wickedness reaps trouble” (Proverbs 22:8a). “All hard work brings a profit, / but mere talk leads only to poverty” (Proverbs 14:23). “Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you” (Romans 13:3).
Often, when the Bible speaks of destiny, it’s in reference to a destiny people have brought upon themselves: “Many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction” (Philippians 3:18-19). “This is the fate of those who trust in themselves” (Psalm 49:13). “A man who commits adultery lacks judgment; / whoever does so destroys himself” (Proverbs 6:32). “Each person was judged according to what he had done” (Revelation 20:13).
We sin because we choose to. We can’t blame “Fate,” kismet, predestination, or God. James 1:13-14 says, “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.”
Interestingly, many people who choose to sin are annoyed by the negative consequences of their sin. “A man's own folly ruins his life, / yet his heart rages against the LORD” (Proverbs 19:3). This is a very insightful verse. When a man foolishly wrecks his life, he may yet insist on blaming God, or perhaps “Fate.” In this way, he persists in his folly.
Scripture also teaches that we choose to have faith. The oft-repeated command in Scripture to believe implies that we do have a choice in the matter. “Be not faithless, but believing” (John 20:27; see also Acts 16:31; 19:4).
Fate and Destiny - God’s Sovereignty
Lest we get the wrong idea, we are not the sovereign masters of our fate. Only God is sovereign. His sovereign control is called “providence.” He has chosen to give us a free will, and He has created a moral universe in which the law of cause-and-effect is a reality. But God is God alone, and there are no “accidents” in the universe.
An all-wise, all-powerful God must have a plan, so it should be no surprise that the Bible speaks of a divine plan. God’s plan, since it belongs to God, is holy, wise, and benevolent. The providence of God is working to bring about His original plan for creation.
God speaks in Isaiah 48:3, “I foretold the former things long ago, / my mouth announced them and I made them known; / then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass.” What God announces, He does (and He may announce it centuries ahead of time!).
Fighting against the plan of God is pointless. “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan / that can succeed against the LORD” (Proverbs 21:30). This is why the Tower of Babel was never completed (Genesis 11:1-9), why Daniel’s detractors were thrown to the lions (Daniel 6:24), why Jonah spent time inside a fish (Jonah 1:17), and why I get in trouble when I sin.
Even what we would normally call “chance” or “fate” is under God’s control. “The lot is cast into the lap, / but its every decision is from the LORD” (Proverbs 16:33). In other words, God does not take a “hands-off” approach to running the world.
Everything that happens in the world is made to work out according to God’s purpose. Evil exists, but it is not allowed to thwart God’s providence. God uses even sinful men for His purposes. “The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; / he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases” (Proverbs 21:1). God worked in the hearts of the Egyptians (Exodus 12:36) and King Artaxerxes (Ezra 7:27) to bring about His purpose. Even when Man’s intent is purely evil, God can still bring about His will, as in the case of those who crucified Jesus (Acts 2:23; 4:27-28).
God’s plan includes a reward for those who trust in Him, and He promises to glorify His children. “We speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. . . . As it is written: ‘No eye has seen, / no ear has heard, / no mind has conceived / what God has prepared for those who love him’” (1 Corinthians 2:7-9). Note the use of the word destined in this passage—and that it’s a destiny based on our love for the Lord.
Fate and Destiny - An Individual Plan
God’s sovereignty reaches even to a plan for our individual lives. This is illustrated in God’s calling of Jeremiah—before the prophet was even born. “The word of the LORD came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, / before you were born I set you apart; / I appointed you as a prophet to the nations’” (Jeremiah 1:4-5).
David also recognized that the Lord had a plan for him. “Your eyes saw my unformed body. / All the days ordained for me / were written in your book / before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). Because of this knowledge, David sought the Lord’s specific guidance in many situations, such as in 1 Samuel 23:9-12.
Fate and Destiny - Putting It All Together
In Acts 9, Jesus appears to Saul of Tarsus with an interesting statement: “It is hard for you to kick against the goads” (verse 5). Jesus obviously had a plan for Saul, and Saul had been (painfully) resisting it. Exercising our freedom against God’s plan can be painful.
Later, Jesus tells Saul that a man named Ananias would come to visit —and then Jesus tells Ananias (verses 11-12)! Obviously, Jesus had a pre-arranged plan for Ananias as well. Now, Ananias didn’t want to visit Saul (verse 13-14). He could have been like Jonah and run the other way. If that had been his choice, God would have had a “fish” prepared to bring him back. Fortunately, Ananias obeyed (verse 17). Exercising our freedom to follow God’s plan brings a blessing.
In summary, the Bible teaches that God is in charge. At the same time, He has given us the freedom to obey or disobey Him, and there are some things that God does only in answer to prayer (James 4:2).
God blesses the obedient, and He is patient with those who disobey, even to the point of seeming laxity. He has a plan for our lives, which includes our happiness and His glory both in this world and in the world to come. Those who accept Christ as Savior have accepted God’s plan (John 14:6). From then on, it’s a step-by-step following of God’s best for us, praying for His will to be done (Matthew 6:10), and avoiding the sidetrack of sin (Psalm 32:1-11; 119:59; Hebrews 12:1-2)
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